We consistently get calls at LiveBeyond Counseling from couples requesting appointments for marriage therapy. For most of our clients, this is the first time that they have sought out counseling services. Usually, they have tried many other things to improve their relationship. For many, seeking counseling is a last ditch effort to salvage their marriage.
The primary question we receive from these couples is this:
Is it ever too late for marriage therapy to work?
My reply is always that we believe that marriage counseling can help any marriage, at anytime, as long as the couple is willing to put in the time and effort it takes. Marriage therapy is definitely hard work. It is an investment in your future and the future of your relationship.
How is a marriage therapist going to help my marriage?
Since all couples are different, there is no exact step by step method to marriage counseling. In the initial session, you and your therapist will begin a dialogue about your goals, and will begin to build the therapeutic relationship necessary with your therapist. This is not the session that will “fix” your marriage. The number one reason that couples tell us that they are ending sessions with our therapists is this:
They try one session, then decide to give up on their relationship when the initial session doesn’t ‘work’.
Marriage therapy does not work in 1 session.
Think of it this way:
Couples that come in to our practice for marriage therapy have generally been married or in the relationship for years. Some for 20 or more years. Before that, many of our clients have had previous marriages as well as other relationships. The hurts, hang-ups, and habits that plague our relationships as married couples are typically not new. Sometimes there are specific events such as infidelity, lying, or communication problems that lead a couple to reach out to us, but these are typically not singular events.
These are not usually the only heartbreaks that have happened in the relationship.
That being said, please do not give up after 1 session. Please don’t give up after 2. As professionals who care about our clients well-being and who wish to see marriages thrive, we ask you to consider the time, effort, and financial investment for counseling to be just that: AN INVESTMENT.
This is how marriage therapy works:
We will put in the hard work with you, and the clients who benefit most from seeing our therapists put in hard work as well. They schedule and maintain their sessions. They spend quality time together. They read books and journal and go on date nights. They make a decision together that they will not give up on their relationship. That they will try anything and everything, for any length of time, no matter the cost to make their relationship great. To see marriage as it should be seen: As a God-given gift.
When we see clients doing these things, we know that their relationship will improve.
We know that soon they will begin to be able to space out appointments from weekly to every other week, even monthly. We know that eventually as communication in the relationship improves, the couple will be able to manage their daily frustrations and struggles, to communicate openly and freely with one another. We know that they will join the couples who have visited LiveBeyond Counseling before who have benefitted significantly from sessions with our therapists. We know that they will thrive in their relationships.
We know they will find the type of love again that SPARKS LOVE and JOY.
If you or someone you know is struggling to make a marriage work, please do not hesitate to reach out to our intake coordinator to schedule a session with one of our professional, trained, marriage counselors. For more information about marriage counseling, please take a look at the Couples Counseling page.
Additional Blog posts about Marriage:
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