Choosing a Couples Counselor Can Be Difficult
Make Sure Your Relationship is in Great Hands
Every week, our staff at LiveBeyond Counseling receive calls and emails from frustrated couples seeking to rebuild relationships that have grown cold, but not knowing how to choose a couples counselor. Out of the many couples who call us, however, multiple couples monthly decide to end their relationship without even coming to a single session. Many go on to separate and even divorce without giving it everything they’ve got.
If you are seeking help with your relationship, you are in the minority.
You are giving your relationship all you’ve got and I want to congratulate you on that!
As a Couples Counseling Practice owner, the statistics around the number of couples who actually seek counseling versus how many call it quits is extremely disheartening. We want to see relationships thrive and people find hope and help as they need it. Our goal is to help you meet your goals and find joy. Though our clients’ goals vary from couple to couple, overall we all want many of the same things:
- To love and be loved by someone unconditionally
- To know that someone has our best interests at heart
- To be able to talk freely and be understood
- To have someone truly know us
- To have romance, fun, and to create and conquer dreams with someone we love
So Why Do Only a Minority of People Seek Couples Counseling?
Couples Counseling can help you and your significant other reach these and other goals together, so why doesn’t everyone do counseling? I believe there are a few reasons that are most common including:
- Fear of the unknown
- Concern that counseling will just drag on and on without an end in sight
- Perceived Cost of sessions is too high
- Previous experience or information that makes therapy seem inefficient or ineffective
Here Are 6 Guidelines to Consider When Choosing a Couples Counselor:
1. Choose someone who focuses on Couples Counseling.
Ensure that the counselor you choose has experience in working with couples to improve their relationships. They should have couples counseling as a primary focus as displayed in their advertising, website, and when you speak with them. If couples are not a significant portion of who they love to help, look elsewhere.
2. Choose a counselor who wants to see your relationship Thrive.
Look for a counselor who is biased towards your relationship making it. Some people are too quick to give up on a relationship and just say “move on”. Make sure your provider is committed to improving the quality and longevity of your relationship. Feel free to ask about the counselor’s feelings on when divorce or break-up should be an option. If they are not in your corner, move on.
3. Choose a counselor who is not partial to either you or your significant other.
You need a professional who is able to look at your relationship as a whole and help you and your partner to set clear goals that both of you can work towards together. If your counselor begins to choose sides, you or your partner will feel ganged up on and not be able to truly work on the issues at hand. Find someone who will look out for your relationship first and foremost.
4. Choose a counselor who helps to assuage any fears you may have about the process in the first session.
Therapists should be caring, compassionate, caregivers. They should be willing and able to discuss your fears and to help you and your significant other to feel comfortable with the counseling process.
5. Choose a counselor who is results focused.
If counseling seems to drag on with no real benefit, then that’s not effective, efficient counseling. Counselors should be focused on helping you to improve your relationship in the right amount of sessions. Not too many. Not too few. You don’t want to end up needing counseling for years, and they should understand that. Choose someone who has an end in mind from day one.
6. Choose a counselor who charges according to the quality of services provided.
Sometimes the lowest price is not the best. Find a counselor who can help you get the result wanted at the lowest cost with the least amount of time possible. Lower cost counseling may seem like a good deal, but if it takes more sessions or does not give you the improved relationship you wish for, lowest cost may be worth less still. See a counselor with a good balance between fee and effectiveness.
While there is no fool-proof process to deciding upon a couple’s counselor, I hope these tips help you to feel more confident in choosing a professional who will provide the best services for you. You may not see results overnight, but if you haven’t seen any improvement in your relationship after five or more sessions, you may want to seek additional assistance.
Don’t get frustrated. Improving any type of relationship takes time and effort from you and your partner. Trust your counselor to help to guide you to build upon your communication and other skills in order to be able to last for the long term.
Finally, if you are like most people and you begin your search for a couples counselor on Google, be sure to look for counseling practices who have a specific page or pages devoted to couples counseling. That is an initial step towards finding a great counselor who will work to improve your relationship for the long haul.
If you would like to receive additional information about choosing a couples counselor or if you would like to schedule an appointment with a licensed, trained couples counselor in Keller, Texas, please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org or 817-754-8886.
Jennifer Alsup is the owner of LiveBeyond Counseling & Coaching LLC located in Keller, Texas. LiveBeyond CC is focused on seeing Couples, Teens, and Adults find joy. Learn more on how you can solve relationship problems and stop divorce/break up by visiting our Couples Counseling Page.